Phobic

louthian @ 2008-01-26T01:42:00

2008-01-25T17:46:04Z

i'm really bad at painting landscapes without watercolours. I tried my hand at using gouache for landscape, can safely say that I dont really like it. It's too bad, I sat in a area filled with trees, it was nice considering my country is a place dominated by buildings and people. I've got a good mind to head there during evening time some other day.

Trying to tab out Komorebi right now. It really reminds me of the time I had in Botanical Gardens. What an apt title too, haha. It's a beautiful song, the guitars are gentle and smooth... One of the main reasons I like Mucc is because of their sincerity.

louthian @ 2008-01-24T23:23:00

2008-01-24T15:25:27Z

P eo ple are B lin d

T he y are b lin ded and de ceived by the mselves

louthian @ 2008-01-24T23:11:00

2008-01-24T15:16:36Z

Went to do homework with Mandy at an unoccupied, open-space carpark. Luckily the sky was overcast today. Mandy and I talked about Mucc and what future 'other-halfs' would be like. I said I want to meet someone serious but likes sweets. Suddenly, for no reason, I thought about Miya and his teeth, his filling-filled teeth and burst out laughing. Then Mandy teased that he would be the kind who would hide his candy from me. I hope you 'forgive' your dorky Korean boy Mandy :>

There is one place I like to go in Singapore. Actually there is another place, but I hardly go to that one. I dunno, I seem to like rooftops. One is the open-space carpark with some shade at the escalator area, and the other has a western-styled pavilion with vines growing all over it. I think I might go there on Saturday.

The class is going to Botanical Gardens tomorrow for drawing. Mandy says the class ____-____ is from might go as well. I don't know if I would smile at him this time. I hope his class won't go, but then I still haven't gotten a close look at his drawings :/ Had a good chance last week but I just wouldn't look his direction Lol :/

Must take a good look ! Must win the bet ! 5 TAIYAKI'S AND KOREAN CHUAN-SHAO !! Hmm I want a chocolate taiyaki, an anko one, a cheese one and uhmm maybe another chocolate :X

I'm so mean, I'm playing a game at the expense of someone's eyes (not that I'm turning him blind or visually-impaired or anything like that). I hope he doesn't mind. I can give him my taiyaki(s).

louthian @ 2008-01-23T12:01:00

2008-01-23T04:01:56Z

I went ahead with a 'Muccer' on my tshirt. I'd post a picture of it only if I'm not without a camera-phone right now.

louthian @ 2008-01-21T22:18:00

2008-01-21T14:46:09Z

I have downgraded. I used to play acoustic guitar fine but ever since I started on the electric guitar my fingers can't take high-action acoustic guitar strings well. Try to bar a chord, and you get a 'dumb' sound. I call it the dumb sound. Haha.

I wore a black pair of shorts today and got called names. Siah called me 'french boy', and that 'all I lacked was a nice hat'. Thank you, Siah, that's some good advice coming from someone who wore 'atrocious' clothing to school ;)

...

I STILL LIKE THE FACT THAT MY NAME IS FRENCH !!! YEAH ??? :D:D:D

Then other classmates commented on how I 'never get caught wearing a dress'. O.k, maybe I look a little boyish with my shoulders and not-so-well-endowed chest, and that pair of shorts really looked like what little French/English boys would wear, but I never thought I looked so ungirly my classmates would call me 'boy'. I dont really mind it anyway, pink really irk me. I don't rather be girly.

I usually wore long pants and tops with sleeves. I'll leave the shorts alone for now.

wait till i get a nice girly bob haircut you !!

will they call me trannyboy then ? :/

I just got me fabric pens and a plain white shirt. I don't know what to draw on it, but I guess I'll go with a MUCC on the front with some nice typography. And perhaps the band logo as well, but I don't wanna plagarize. I thought of drawing silly faces of the band members but kinda moved the idea to my sketchbook. Maybe I could do a loooong 'Pyramid Head's To-do List' in small fonts, hehe.

1 kill
2 kill
3 rape
4 try to scare James Sunderland by appearing behind the iron bars
5 kill
6 chase James
7 kill Maria
8 rape
9 borrow stapler from colleague
10 rape him
11 chase James
12 kill Maria
13 kill
14 rape
15 chase James
16 leave Great Knife and ammo in room
17 rape
18 chase James
19 meet up with twin (Pyramid Head #2)
20 go with him to buy red eggs
21 kill
22 rape
23 buy spear, some bastard stole the Great Knife
24 kill Maria
25 commit fancy impaling suicide with twin.
26 repeat; James wants to re-do the game to get Leave ending.

louthian @ 2008-01-20T23:53:00

2008-01-20T16:24:36Z

I've started a Lingering Writing journal. It's compulsory for all Foundation Level students. We can choose any topic we like, and I chose Windows as my subject matter. not the computer thing, it's the real thing, glass panes, metal grilles, curtains...

I'm almost done on SH2 in Japanese. Really learnt quite a bit, once I approach a door and it says 'kagi ga kakatteiru' or 'kagi ga kowareteita' I move off immediately. I realize I don't have to read it word by word as usual haha... but only when it comes to door locks.

Have I mentioned HOW MUCH I HAAAAAATE LONG NAILS ?! GOD !! THEY'RE ANNOYING !! some dried blood remnants have gotten into my right fingernails and THEY WON'T COME OUT !!!! I'm making it a habit to trim the right fingernails whenever I do the left.

Mandy says I look like a little kid. maybe I do when I fold up my pants and expose the butterfly knots on my sneakers. I ask, a kid ? little girl kid or little boy kid ?

Mandy says 'You look like a little boy.'

NOOOO !!! I tried ! I have girly shoes. I have a pair that has quite a high platform and I often have to walk really slowly whenever I encounter stairs. And my hair, it's growing out, I promise not to cut it ! but it's so frustrating sometimes y'know... Singapore's really warm...

yet another song on the incomplete list. I've only done the intro part of Oyoge ! Taiyaki-kun which is not really audible if you don't have headphones/earpieces on.

poor Taiyaki-kun, he got eaten in the end by the ojisan. I like the chocolate and cheese ones other than the original, hehe. I wanna eat one tomorrow.

First song composed >_

2008-01-15T15:57:08Z

I composed something on EADF#BE >_<
I didnt even know I had tuned the G to F#, I just thought it should be slightly lower and tuned it down a little. It's nothing pretty really, in fact I think people will find it cliche. I must work hard ! I tried to think, where would Miya go after this, but then this sort of thinking isn't really healthy, I can't keep thinking of what Miya would play if I want to be original.

I like my new shiny black flats. Hehe.

I'm behaving quite girly these days. It must be those flats. They've got an ankle strap.

louthian @ 2008-01-10T22:20:00

2008-01-10T15:01:58Z

I saw in the news how they killed sick chickens.

Shouldn't we... at least give them a little respect ?

Romania ! I hope you are kind to your chickens. I like you a lot. Please be nice to your chickens.

Romania is simply beautiful.

Wikipedia Image. It's the Bran Castle, or more widely known as Dracula's castle.

stunning, stunning...

well yeh I went to Wikipedia to read about the GDP stuff and population density and stuff... I guess I really am a geek. Hehe.

louthian @ 2008-01-08T22:39:00

2008-01-08T15:30:12Z

The last lesson was held in Emily Hill. It's a park-cum-residential area for really rich people. It is a very peaceful and quaint little hill, you can see a lot of trees on the highest part but sadly the Singtel building in the area nearby (SG's telecom company) pokes out from among the green.

It's really quiet and the weather is cloudy. The lightning is subtle enough to lend this feeling that it truly is quiet over there. Jervena and I joked that this is a normal dimension and that our teacher (who hasn't arrived yet) is trapped in the nightmare world in one of the houses.

This house kinda reminded me of Lakeside View Hotel in Silent Hill 2, just that it's not surrounded by water.

Is there some way to photoshop those cars away ? I like that bare tree.

The park. I don't really like palm trees, actually... but it's a pretty little park.

Staircase up to the park.

A worn-looking bench in the park. Almost all the benches are like this. One had a faint 'Pray The Lord' and some other 'I love xxx' scratched onto the wood.

See that nice fluffy-looking tree ? I don't know what it's called, but I like this type of tree a lot. This picture doesnt do justice to it.

One of the ways up to the highest area of the hill.

こもれび

A gate looking pretty Silent Hill-esque.

We didn't see any dogs here.

The roof has caved in, and the inside of that room is visible. To me, it really was an intimate shot.

I find this picture slightly creepy.

Closer look of the room. I wonder where its owner is.

Ending this post on a happier note - that's a nice looking shelter ! :D

louthian @ 2008-01-07T18:08:00

2008-01-07T10:38:29Z

Stolen a meme from kurokaze_89

Favourites
Favourite Color: Blue and cream
Favourite Food: Pretty much anything home-made
Favourite Movie: Moliere
Favourite Sport: Street basketball/soccer (havent been playing for more than a year now...)
Favourite Day of the week: Friday. No one hates Friday.
Favourite Season: Showery, breezy end of year in Singapore
Favourite Ice Cream: Dark chocolate or cookies and cream or some hazelnut variety or maybe milk tea ?

Currents
Current mood: Achey and sleepy
Current clothes: Tshirt and track pants
Current time: 612pm
Current Surroundings: Sitting next to the window. Sky's cloudy, but a little bright
Current Annoyances: Nothing, it's pretty quiet and peaceful right now
Currect Thoughts: I want to eat something

Firsts
First best friends: omg I don't remember my first best friend's name. probably during nursery
First crush: sadly I remember nothing about first crushes/love etc etc
First movie: some Chinese gongfu flick my parents dragged me to
First lie: don't remember, but it should be the kind that I try to use to get out of trouble
First song: Googoo Doll's Dizzy (that's effing nostalgic ;D)

Lasts
Last drink: Chocolate milk
Last Ride: Train ride
Last crush: on... another girl :/ but it's just a crush
Last phone call: Mama
Last CD played: SH2 PS2 game. If that's the kind of CD you're referring to...

Random 5 things you are good at:
1 giving the 'I'm sort of deranged' look. many variations.
2 cleaning taps
3 knocking colour into a TV slowly going into B&W mode
4 Speed Walking
5 Cussing

4 things you have done today:
1 Attended a photography lecture by a Frenchman
2 Read a guitar mag
3 Play guitar
4 Sat on the staircase waiting for the door to open

3 things you can hear now:
1 News on TV
2 People playing basketball in the court downstairs
3 Me typing on the keyboard

I've found out today that the Frenchman is going to take my class for photography ! He has a a pretty strong accent.

OH wait, I tag: Everyone on F-list ! Well except kurokaze haha I can't tag back

louthian @ 2008-01-06T20:59:00

2008-01-06T13:28:53Z

School starts tomorrow ! D: I have another go of workshops which I don't like. But I should really lie to myself that I like them so I can actually finish up the assignments.

Photography is okay, but printmaking is quite nightmarish. Photoshop isn't that hard, it's just me being slightly techno-phobic. There's just ONE peeve. 3D. I've constructed two wire heads and scrapped one. Spending one day on constructing wire heads is like spending one day on guitar playing. Calluses !!!! I peeled a thick piece of dead skin off my left middle finger a few days ago and I regretted it.

Gotta check out the timetable now... oh wait, mum and sis are going out great time to play SH2 !!!! :D

[edit]

I've taken a liking to cleaning the toilet with this super powerful cleaner. I'm filled with pride when the toilet tap gleams brightly.
Ah, speaking of cleaning toilets...
It's a surprise I haven't fainted of shock from the amount of grime and stains in Silent Hill.

Petshop Animals

2008-01-02T06:44:15Z

Four little bunnies, countless hamsters and fishes, a tank full of turtles and even more little critters.

The bunnies snuggled up together so I couldn't see their faces except for one who looked at me. The hamsters rolled themselves into little balls. The turtles climbed upon each other on the lone piece of log in the tank. The fishes swam among dead counterparts. The fierce-looking petshop keeper slumped onto a foldable chair nearby.

There used to be five bunnies, one of them must have been sold away. The bunny which looked at me, it didn't seem happy. Maybe it just wanted to hold on to the only family it has now. I can't imagine them being separated. If I can, I'd buy all of the siblings so that they may at least have the only possession they can ever own, but my own bunny doesn't even seem happy. I wonder if it had met any family before my sister's boyfriend bought her ?

Animals and humans alike, made by the hand of God. Some of us are sick of wealth and luxury while some of us are given pain and torment.

This world is sickening.

louthian @ 2008-01-02T00:04:00

2008-01-01T16:09:47Z

Finished Silent Hill 2 and got the In Water ending. I actually wanted the Leave ending...

Don't think I want to play SH1, Alessa's story is much too sad... though I might play SH: Origins.

You know you ought to stop playing/searching Silent Hill stuff when:
You start fearing that things will change for the bloodier after you wake from your sleep

louthian @ 2008-01-01T01:54:00

2007-12-31T18:00:09Z

I didn't realize it's 2008 already !!

well, so what.

louthian @ 2007-12-31T01:20:00

2007-12-30T17:36:23Z

I'd like to see Mucc make videos of their old songs. It will be quite a pleasant surprise for those who followed Mucc from since '97.
1979 would be a great song to make a video from. I can visualise them on a small stage with faint blinking lights, doing an old fashioned jazz show with Yukke on double bass, sweet.

Shishite Katamari would have a deranged mood not unlike Zetsubou's. I can see Tatsurou's eyeballs rolling as he sings "ikite ikite ikite shinu... tada tada TADA TADA shinu made ikiru..." *cue Yukke's stiff arms of derangement*

I want to sleep till next year. *gets shot with flying guitar picks*

live,live,live,die... just,just,just,just living till you die...

louthian @ 2007-12-30T23:42:00

2007-12-30T16:06:10Z

Met a stray in an uncovered drain today. I thought it was a young cat, but upon closer inspection, it seemed to be a really thin adult. I thought it was stuck in the drain so I carried it out. When I put my hands around the cat's abdomen, I could feel a lot of fleas, and the poor cat's hide was like a page of Braille. Its body was horribly shrunken and undernourished, its fur lacked the kind of sheen a healthy cat would have. A large amount of its blood is probably sucked off by the large number of fleas. Pitiful little creature, its body flailing on the ground; its face distraught and its cries heart-breaking. I didn't have enough emotion and love for the stray to bring it to safe hands, and I have a feeling that the guilt would come back one day.

I wish I could be less indifferent, less passive to the little creatures around me. Even if I am able to deny people my acknowledgement, I could at least be a more complete living thing if I can show helpless beings some love.

Real, humane love above all things sexual, pornographic, selfish and destructive. Purer forms of interaction. Little is needed to interpret, if anything requires it at all...

I hope I'm not the only one watching humanity fade.

louthian @ 2007-12-28T21:26:00

2007-12-28T13:32:13Z

Learnt Haruka.

SATOchi says, "SAIKOUUU !!" *two thumbs up*
I've got a Miya one that goes "nandatou - !?" but i can only put one icon.

louthian @ 2007-12-28T01:16:00

2007-12-27T17:28:16Z

Oh oh you know the chocolate called Kinder surprise ? The chocolate egg one with a toy inside ? I finally know why I don't see it around anymore !!!!

The toys inside were a safety hazard for young children and thus, were recalled.

NOOOO !!! That was a childhood favourite ! Who cares about the plastic bits inside, it's the CHOCOLAAAAAATE. I never paid much attention to whatever's in it, in fact I thought it'll be better off without any toys (less waste) but the chocolate !!!! It was nostalgic.

I hope they make a similiar hollow chocolate egg without anything inside. Umm, maybe perhaps more little chocolate eggs. Hehe.

Hey good idea. Maybe I should write to the company.

"Hi dear Kinder Surprise makers (???)
I MISS YOUR CHOCOLATE EGGS CAN YOU MAKE THEM AND SHIP THEM TO MY COUNTRY AGAIN PLEASE DX ... ... ..."

[edit]
sent a msg to one of the LJ users, but couldnt preview it, so i tried sending the msg back to my account. guess what the LJ error thingy says:

"stop trying to message yourself. we're not that kind of service."

uhmmm, what kind of service ?

louthian @ 2007-12-27T18:34:00

2007-12-27T10:37:35Z

oh it's Louthian

It took me quite a while to realize that I have bought a limited edition Epiphone Les Paul Special II at half price.

It's a manly guitar. I dunno why I said that. Maybe it's because I don't think girls like gold hardware on guitar.

Headstock with no space for signatures. *gleam gleam*

And a random pic of cherries.

I've only seen Miya with a Les Paul on one occasion. It looks like one of the Epiphone ones but then I could be wrong.
Both Yukke and Miya seem to like strats :/

louthian @ 2007-12-27T04:33:00

2007-12-26T20:52:00Z

How annoying. I stayed up late till 430am playing a boring game. It's all the stupid fights !!!! You just want to beat up the bad guys and see what happens next. So it went on and on ... but I can't possibly finish it in 8 hours with that longwinded storyline and character switching... And my mum is going to get upset about my sleeping habits. No worries, mama I'm sure it'll get back to normal after school reopening... : /

Gotta get myself to wake up early tomorrow. I owe my sister a cup of almond jelly fom the morning market.

I could eat an ice-cream tub sized of almond jelly. My mum used to make it in those. There are many dessert stalls which sells almond jelly but a lot are PATHETIC !! Both my aunt and my mum could get it right the first time. Certain stalls (not to be biased, but many of these are located in foodcourts) serve gelatinous chewy white thing in a bowl flavoured with almond. Almond jelly can't be chewy ! It's supposed to be soft and silky and sweet. I wonder if they sold almond jelly in non-Asian countries ? I figured I'd be pretty miserable living someplace alone without almond jelly... not that I am going anywhere : /

Or I could just make it myself.

My granny challenged me today. So I ate half a can of expired fruits (the end date was AUG2007). Initially I told her 'Gran, these have expired,' and to my surprise, she retorted with a 'if you're scared of it don't eat it'. I went ahead and had half a can while the rest of the oblivious family members finished the rest. I don't know if it's something psychological or not but it did taste funny.

My granny was one who'd eat some anyday, but which granny would challenge her granddaughter to half a can of expired fruits ? XD

No sign of tummy upset. I guess my stomach's pretty tough. Maybe it's inherited.

louthian @ 2007-12-24T00:44:00

2007-12-23T16:51:23Z

oh yay I'm almost done with Suimin... actually no. I still have the chorus and the solo. That's considered a whole three quarters. Lol.
One quarter is already quite an achievement for an amateur no ? ;_; but i'm quite an old amateur... i've started since 3 months ago *thrashes fists around*

(needs more intensive training)

school starts on the Jan 7th 2008 and it's intimidating ! all the 3D work and photography and *gurgle gurgle*

But I'm actually excited about painting. I dunno why.
I bought a small canvas to try to replicate one of my better works on it. I'm using smelly cheap gouache, anyone has any pointers on using smelly old cheap gouache ? My teacher recommended acrylic paints (as it is very forgiving towards mistake-prone users) but I like the texture of gouache. Very wall-paint-like.

(needs to get her techniques right)

I want to personalize my guitar, like adding something small and decorative to it, but I'd like it to be removable. anyone has any ideas ?

(needs time and priority management)

louthian @ 2007-12-23T17:40:00

2007-12-23T09:59:04Z

listened to Suimin on repeat when i was in town till I reached home.

I NEED TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO PLAY THAT SONG...
but i don't have a whammy bar for that bit of solo and my chord-picking sensors havent leveled up. I've only got part of the intro (again !)

You know you're too much into Silent Hill when
1. You buy bright red journals and glue them in places like the bedroom, toilet, or the living room coffee-table. And approach these once in a while
2. You buy A LOT of Oronamin C (well any kind of drink with a brown bottle and white label) and place them in places like your bedside, kitchen counter, teacher's desk, beside the lamp-post etc etc
3. Radio static makes you jump real hard
4. You don't mind putting your hand in the toilet to retrieve something
5. You play Silent Hill OST while walking in dark, deserted areas just to scare yourself silly
6. You write weird memo's in your notebook
7. You treat walnuts like treasure.

wrote this when I saw a bright red rectangle when I walked home. I almost expected the surroundings to go red and get a prompt to save.

louthian @ 2007-12-22T18:39:00

2007-12-22T10:47:45Z

my mum went out, then my dad suddenly came back. home. right inside.

i dunno man, it's been a long time since he did. But he just wants the electronic tuner and the bass back.
i tried to close the door of the studio room but forgot to switch off the light. he waltzed in and the first thing he did was ask who that guitar belonged to, and asked if he could borrow the distortion pedal.

Louthian: I thought it was an all-women household...

It is. Even the rabbit and the tortoise are female.

Then he played my guitar and claimed that it wasn't nice. i blamed it on the tiny 2nd-hand practise amp.
he played House of the Rising Sun and a few random stuff, unlocked his room, went inside and complained about the stench. I asked for money three times. He gave me a 50, took the distortion pedal and left.

MY DISTORTION PEDAL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

louthian @ 2007-12-21T22:26:00

2007-12-21T14:26:56Z

I've wasted forever !

Time to get back to work x(

louthian @ 2007-12-21T03:46:00

2007-12-20T20:00:05Z

Returned to SH2. Abi told me that when James turns his head to look at something, there IS something. No wonder I couldn't get anywhere XD.

Funny how a godforsaken place like Silent Hill has bottles of drinks (could it be... ORONAMIN C !?!) and first aid kits scattered around. And I finally found the key to the apartments (is slow in games)

I need to get those projects done by Jan 7. I know I've wasted faaaar too much time on guitars, useless doodling, escape-the-room/house/town games, Spongebob on Youtube, snoozing and Mucc. How do you spend time on a band anyway. Well I can just sit and stare at the laptop while it plays Mucc ( i has no life).

but i did do homework, even if it's just a little bit. going to redo 2D poster. and start on the stupid White Proj.

luckily there is homework. or i'd have felt really worthless.

Modern Xmas can get really annoying.
But I love the food ;D